Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Building a better death trap

A few months ago, a fellow author asked what I would do if I were an evil super villain who wanted to hold prisoners .... specifically, a Robin-esque ex-sidekick, a werewolf, and a Golem.

I asked "Why?"

Suffice it to say, she needed those three people in a prison they couldn't escape from -- and oh, yes, keep in mind, the villain is a teleporter, so he can come and go as he pleases.

"Cool," says I. "Mountain cage. If they leave, they all freeze to death."

Nope, we need something closer to Los Angeles.

"Okay. Three tiered, vertical death trap: your sidekick is chained up, hands bound by the chain. Below him, a block of cement in which the golem is trapped in, and, at the bottom, the werewolf -- obviously, in a silver cage. Stripped naked, for extra pain!  If the other two try to escape, the other falls, and there's death all around Muahahahahhaa!!!!"

Then she talked me off of a ledge.

"Keep the silver cage and the concrete, only stick them in a shipping container, on a ship -- dangling off the floor, suspended by four chains to opposite walls. If they move too much, splat."

We can't keep the concrete, our protagonist can't pick concrete with his lockpicks.

"Oh, all right, I never get to have any fun."

As to how everyone gets out of the problem.....

You disconnect two of the chains holding the container aloft, then, before disconnecting the third, hold on tight to the end of that chain -- the container will swing down, as will the chain your hero is holding on to. Instant ladder.

This was one of the better 2am conversations I’ve ever had, I think.


[Oh, and for those of you who don't know what a golem is -- I'd link to it, but Wikipedia wants to go into hiding today to stop the anti-pirating legislation from the fools on The Hill.   I wonder if miss "Pass the Bill to find out what's in it" Pelosi will be about to do anything with Wikipedia shut down.  Anyway, a golem is a stone man, traditionally a Jewish myth about a man made from clay in order to protect the Jewish peoples from harm. Mary Shelley, eat your heart out.]

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