Monday, November 5, 2012

Who would Captain America Vote For? Villain's edition (Who would Norman Osborn vote for?)

Last week, I posted an article that suggested who various and sundry superheroes would vote for.

This week, I think it's time the villains got a shot at it.

Norman Osborn aka: the Green Goblin (Marvel).

One of the most evil bastards in the Marvel universe, Norman Osborn, by day, is a seriously big big business Wall Street CEO.  He is a vicious psychopath and merciless killer.  Norman Osborn mostly resides in New York City, which makes him a definite shoe-in for a Democratic voter, no matter who the candidate is.

Also, keep in mind that a lot of Wall Street tycoons are supporters to the Democratic party -- John Corzine, Robert Rubin (Goldman Sachs), Citibank, and George Soros (Democrat and Obama's biggest supporter), Brookfield Asset Management, Lehman Brothers (who now work for the Obama Administration).

And can you imagine what Osborn would do with a stimulus package?


Wilson Fisk aka The Kingpin (Marvel)

By day, he is a businessman, though not as big as Norman Osborn in the business world.  He is more local in his business interests and his crime. And, in his personal life, he left the crime world and moved to Japan, mostly for his family.  He actually stayed out of the crime business for his wife.  Only when his family was threatened, and his wife lost to him that he reentered the world of crime. Add to that he spent a lot of time in Japan learning philosophy, martial arts, etc.

While you can say many things about the Japanese, their traditional culture is very, very conservative.  And, between that and his [relatively] small business interests, Fisk probably comes out as both an economic and social conservative.


Poison Ivy, aka Dr Pamela Isley (DC).

A radical environmentalist, heavy on the mental, Poison Ivy is the ultimate eco-terrorist.  She also happens to be bat-guano insane, taking monomania to a whole new level of crazy.  A one issue voter, she cares nothing for the "War on Women," since she has already declared the human race something worthy of extinction, and only cares about environmental issues.

Since she makes current Left-wing ecofreaks seem reasonable, she'd probably find the most hard-line environmentalist she can.  Barring that, she might actually approve of standard contraception and abortion, since it means fewer people to trample her precious flowers.


Harley Quinn, aka Harleen Quinzel.

A former shrink, Harley Quinn went quite mad a while ago, falling for the Joker.  She has a long history of tolerating abuse and putting up with whatever his narcissism and whimsy dictates.

However, she also had had enough at one point, and shot the little bugger.

Her mind would hear the phrase "War on Women" and think "War? What War? Who's shooting?"  Her sources of information would rely on either her precious "Mista Jay" or her best friend, Poison Ivy.  And, let's face it, Joker would enter a polling place to gas everyone to death, and then vote for Ron Paul.

VOTE GOES TO: Whoever Joker tells her to vote for (see above), or whoever Ivy tells her (see above).

Catwoman, aka Selina Kyle.

A professional thief, Selina would not be the type of person to complain about the 1%. She loves the 1%. After all, without them, who else would she rob?

She is also a single mother (or she was, pre-nDCU), so she's not exactly the pro-abortion type, assuming she even dwells on the matter. And, let's face it, she, she has a tendency to jump the bones of the richest person in town. But, would this make her a Romney voter? Not necessarily.

However, Selina has also occasionally worked as a thief for the federal government; if she voted, she would vote her paycheck, and go for the guy most likely to fund the Company she works for.

Also, Romney might remind her of another rich white conservative she occasionally sleeps with.


[More below the break]

Two Face, aka Harvey Dent.  

Harvey has a split personality, in more ways than one. Before he went crazy, Harvey was a prosecutor, which makes him a perfect shoe-in for a Republican voter.

However, after he was disfigured with acid, he has a serious problem of making up his mind on anything at all. Almost all binary problems are solved with a flip of a two-headed coin, one side scarred.

VOTE GOES TO: It's a toss up. A coin toss you might say

Penguin, aka Oswald Cobblepot.

The Penguin is a white collar criminal who dabbles in the occasional violent crime.  He owns his own bar, deals in information, and assorted (usually) non-violent felonies.  This wouldn't come down to policy, but it would boil down to personality.  To start with, Penguin smokes, drinks, and is usually in various levels of obesity --  the Michelle Obama health craze would seriously piss him off.

Not to mention, as a white collar criminal, the Penguin would be in the business of tax evasion, and he would probably vote for anyone who threatens to cut taxes.


Mister Freeze, aka Dr. Victor Fries. 

Victor puts the "mad" in mad scientist, as in "mad as hell and not going to take it anymore," with a touch of "madman" thrown in.  A cold personality, Victor has only one real passion in his life, outside of cryogenics, and that is his wife Nora.  His entire life is dedicated to restoring her to full health and getting her out of cryogenic suspension.  This would probably qualify as being, at base, conservative by desire (shooting for family values of a warped variety), however, his love of his wife has turned into a mania.  When love turns into psychosis, it's one of the worst negatives.

On the other hand, Freeze occasionally ends up as an protagonist, sort of, on Batman's side when the situation warrants, so maybe he hasn't been completely warped. So, if we presume that his values haven't been completely distorted beyond all recognition, the psychotic bits may not be that important.

Also, Freeze is also European in background, so we can probably figure him for either very left wing or very right wing, there are no real middle grounds in European politics. So, figure him for more right wing due to him being very focused on his wife.

VOTE GOES TO: Romney? Maybe?


These are nonstarters in general, and I couldn't really scrounge up enough of these folks for their own entry.  They are both heroes and villains. And, while I would have loved to title this post "WWJVF: Who would Joker vote for," well, he's not really that complicated.

Joker -- As noted, he'd probably kill everyone in the polling place, and vote Ron Paul.

Lex Luthor -- Would vote for himself. He was President once, after all.

Wonder Woman -
- won't vote, since both candidates are men with no military service.  Maybe if Sarah Palin ran -- her children are military, and she knows how to use weapons.

Thor -- Not a citizen, and therefore, can't vote. I can see him voting for Paul Ryan .. not Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan.

Loki -- As a demigod of chaos, you can almost lay money that he would have organized Occupy Wall Street.  But, again, not a citizen

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