Yeah. So, Monday's post went over well.
Very, very well.
Within 36 hours of posting, it was already one of the top ten blogs of all time.
So, something like that requires a sequel...especially when you have half a dozen people literally demanding a sequel. If you didn't read the first one, check it out here. Be warned, however, it already has a confirmed kill of at least one keyboard that I know of.
Basically, what would happen if certain Sad Puppy supporting authors were targeted for being SWATted. I missed a few last time, in part because the voices in my head didn't pester me about them.
But when I get requests for a follow-up post? Of course I'm going to give it a shot.
And now? UNLEASH THE PUPPIES
[SWAT navigates the mine field, crawls under the barbed wire, and slips past the mysteriously bloodstained crosses lining the walkway]
[ SWAT is about to breach the door with enough C4 to blow open a bunker]
[Tom Kratman, the Grand Strategikon himself, dressed like George Patton, using the voice of a drill Sargent meets George C. Scott ] TEN-HUT
[The SWAT members with military training immediately snap to. The few non-veteran members look confused, until TK gets in their face.] I SAID TEN-HUT.
[The last of SWAT complies. TK drifts up and down the line, inspecting all of them.] I have never seen such an under-equipped, slip-shod entry. Where are your wire clippers! Where are your sappers! Where are your sniper teams! My wife could have taken you out a dozen times by now!
[TK stops and turns, and waves off in one direction.] Hi honey, I love you!
[TK turns back to the SWAT team] Who trained you people? John Scalzi? Kurds?
[Junior SWAT member stammers] Buu-u-u-ut, aren't the Kurds supposed to be the good fighters--
[TK] SILENCE, FOOL. Drop and give me fifty. You there, drop your equipment on this man so he knows how to do a REAL push up!
[TK continues inspection] As I was saying, I have never seen a more pathetic attempt at entry. How appalled am I, Sergeant Major?"
[A non-com appears at TK's elbow, also in full uniform, but wearing more guns than the entire SWAT team put together.] Ve-ry Sir.
[TK] Alright. It ap-pears that the only way I'm ever going to get a decent SWATting is to train you myself. Every man, fall back to the FOB. We're going to do this again, and again, and a-gain, until we get it right. In this second run through, I'm going to use my defenses. On the third try, I will be using live ammunition. AM I UNDER-STTOOOOOOODDDD?
[SWAT] SIR! YES, SIR!
[TK] MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT! AND WATCH FOR THE LANDMINES! THEY'RE STILL ACTIVE!
I hate to break it to you, but the rest of this post has been moved to a different location. Where, you might ask?