This is either the best fan fic ever, or terrifying beyond belief. :)
This is from Catholic Writer Guild colleague Dawn Wtizke.
The only changes I've made to the SWATting is to make it match the format of previous SWATs. The WorldCon part was only modded for consistency with the other parts...and I added one line.
[SWAT, all two of them, is stationed in front of the apartment door, battering ram at the ready]
[SWAT #1] “Ma’am, you can’t go in there. We have reports that someone inside is waiving a gun around and threatening to kill people.”
[DW] “Seriously? Get out of my way.”
[The officer, who is at least a foot taller, puffs out his chest, blocking the way]
[DW] "Don’t make me tell you twice. The Hugo Awards are today and I’m damn well not going to miss it. Now get out of my way.”
[SWAT #2 pouts] “But, this is our first call in ten years. Can’t you just let us take a look?”
[DW sighs, rolls her eyes] “Fine. You can look, but you’re not breaking my door in.”
[Opens door. A pile of rifles is stacked haphazardly on a yoga mat. Cleaning supplies scattered next to them.]
[SWAT #1] “Gun!”
[DW glares] “Was that really necessary?”
[SWAT #2 hangs his head] “Sorry. I always wanted to say that.”
[DW] “So, look around.”
[SWAT #1] “Damn. Nothing.”
[DW] “Sorry I couldn’t be the crazy psycho you were hoping for. Are we done?”
[SWAT #2] “We’re done. Sorry to bother you ma’am.”
[SWAT leaves. DW goes to bookcase and swings it away from the wall, revealing a collection of weapons. She picks up several curved blades and a roll of duct tape.] I’ll need this tonight.
Howls erupted through the building again. It was like the Puppy haters were psychically linked.