Because it's time to bring back the puppies of war.
|Suiting up again already.|
If you remember, they weren't very happy with my Sad Puppies Bite Back (SPBB) parodies. And by "they" I don't mean the owners of 770, because the real problem of File 770 isn't any of the writers, it's the psych ward of the comments section, who seem to be utter deranged, as is evidenced by their embracing of one Andrew "Clamps" Marston.
And now, if you look at their comments on this post, you'll see that I'm apparently public enemy #1. Or something. Read the comments, not necessarily the blog itself. Scan for my name, and laugh at how I'm the bogeyman who would lead to the utter destruction of the Sad Puppies.
Some examples, though, to save you some time, because it seems to have started with this.
Next year might be a bumper year for Declan Finn, he’s clearly leading the SP4 poll for ‘Best Related Work’ (Sad Puppies Bite Back), tied with Jeffro Johnson in ‘Best Fan Writer’ and a surprisingly close second in ‘Best Novel’ (Honor at Stake).Yes, as far as I'm concerned, it's a perfectly neutral comment that leads into talking about Brad Torgersen ... because Brad has nothing to do with SP4, so, huh? (And yes, I think my "popularity" has to do with the fact that the year isn't over yet, and voting for Sad Puppies 4 is about two months old).
But then we have the inevitable follow up comment.
Having just googled Declan Finn, I’m almost hoping for some Puppy Democracy to put into play. The price for enough bourbon to get through last year’s packet was quite something; Finn’s work could make it prohibitive.Well, honestly, now, if you need to drink to get through Sad Puppies Bite Back, you've apparently missed the point of the joke. Granted, I'm not exactly Robin Williams-level funny, but I'm apparently more interesting than some of the snide remarks that pass for comedy these days.
Then there was this one -- yes, still referring to me.
I almost hope his work is nominated. I can’t think of anything that will discredit the Pups’ efforts more than having a guy like him front and center of their “movement”.Uh huh.
Wow, just ... really, 770 crew? I know I'm not Tolkien or anything, but come now, I'm not nearly as interesting as to lead to the death of Sad Puppies.
... but seriously, this is comedy gold, and these schlubs don't even know it. I'd do another Sad Puppies Bite Back on the topic, but I'm not sure how I can make fun of them even more. It's hard to satirize folks who just can't get the joke. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm the monster who's going to spell the end of Sad Puppies. They haven't quite spelled that part out.
And of course, the crowning achievement?
If Finn were nominated that would be the Puppies not just shooting themselves in the foot but blowing their entire leg off. I almost want it to happen just because the knots they’d have to tie themselves in to defend it would be fascinating – but more importantly, I would rather the Hugo’s weren’t tainted by that gross collection of revenge porn.Revenge porn? Coming from people who nominated If You were a Dinosaur, My Love, I'd almost think it was a compliment.
And I'm still lost about how SPBB was revenge porn since the constant was SWATting the Sad Puppy ringleaders and supporters. I SWAT the entire Evil League of Evil, siccing legions of armed men on various and sundry authors, and yet it's revenge porn on ... who? The CHORFs? The closest I got to direct "revenge" on anybody was Irene Gallo, and the punchline was more on Moshe Feder (see: Minions of the Puppy Kickers) ... and from what I can tell, Clamps may just be a spambot, hard to take revenge on those.
And defend SPBB? From what? And from who? Really, 770 people, you're going to have the spell out exactly what horrors Sarah Hoyt, Katie Paulk, and Amanda Green will have to endure on my account.
Also, why would these three ladies have to defend me and SPBB? I'm perfectly capable of defending myself, thank you very much.
Granted, I know what the problem is, and so you do, gentle reader, if you've paid attention to them over time (and if you haven't, don't worry, I subject myself to this so you don't have to). Their problem is that they've been living in an echo chamber for so long with people who agree with them, they're suffering from "everyone knows" syndrome. Apparently in the vast wasteland of 770's comment section, everyone knows I'm an evil, blood-drinking monster of the night or, even worse, a Twilight reject, and thus they don't have to argue in complete thoughts. Or worse, even have a complete thought. Everyone already agrees with each other, so why put in the effort -- good God, they might even have to use some of the few brain cells they have, and they need them for breathing.
You know, when I declared to the Puppy Kicking little bastards to come and get me ... I was expecting more of an effort. Right now it feels like they're not even trying.
Then again, what did I expect? Direct confrontation from the keyboard commandos of 770? Feh. I might as well go to Stephanie Meyer for a class on good writing.