Monday, May 16, 2016

#RabidPuppies Bite Back: Tingling Sensation

Wow, I am so tired right now, I should be asleep. I should also never write when my eyes are burning.

Once again, I'm going to remind you of the ground rules.  The short version is that THIS IS A PARODY. No one, to my knowledge, has been SWATted within the Puppy community. If this changes, let me know.  It'e been a parody from day one, and as I said last week, it's still a parody.

The full story is, of course, in the Sad Puppies tab above. Click it if you have the time.

Anyway ....

After Moira Greyland was SWATted, I had suggestions about other Rabid Puppies.

Take a wild guess who suggestion #1 was.

Doctor Chuck Tingle

New York City: The Village

[SWAT team takes door of an aging brownstone. There are two little old ladies at dual writing desks.]

[Old Lady #1 looks up] Oh look, Martha, company!

[Old Lady #2 beams] Oh know, Abby! Isn't it wonderful?

[SWAT #1] We were told there would be a Chuck Tingle here? He writes ... erotica?

[Old Lady #1] No, no one here by that name. But we write ....

[Old Lady #2 interjects] Modern romances.

[Old Lady #1 nods] Yes. That's it. Modern romances. That's all.

[SWAT #1 grimaces, backs away slowly]

LA: Chinatown

[SWAT takes the door of an old building ... and find a sweatshop making gimp suits]

[SWAT #1 growls at the iPhone in his hand]  Stupid Tor Browser.  Gah!

San Francisco

[SWAT takes the door of a picture postcard house. They swarm the living room.  They are greeted with the image of several burly men in raptor masks, in leather space suit tops, but nude below the waste.]

[Doctor Chuck Tingle strides into the room, quite naked, looks at the cops and smiles.] Someone ordered in? Awesome! Did you bring handcuffs?

[SWAT leader turns to the team] X-out on this one guys. You go back to base. I'm going to .... follow up here.

[SWAT leader calls in sick for the next week. Six days later, Chuck Tingle comes out with yet another book: SWATted up the Butt by my Hugo Nomination.]

If you don't get the jokes here ... wow have you not been keeping abreast of the situation.
Chuck Tingle is, obviously, an alias -- hence the rerouting of SWAT teams. 
His Hugo nomination is .... Space Raptor Butt Invasion.
Never thought you'd see a title like that on this blog, did you?

And yes, I do almost expect him to write that book.


I hate to break it to you, but the rest of this post has been moved to a different location. Where, you might ask?

Here: To the Collected SAD PUPPIES BITE BACKin Paperback and Kindle.

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