Monday, June 13, 2016

#E32016 - Almost Nothing new #XboxE3

We're bringing you a special edition of the blog. Why? Because E3 is going on, and all the new games are coming. And because hashtags are fickle things.

Xbox One has finally showed us their true colors: almost nothing new. NO, really.

First, if I hear the word "diversity" one more time, I'm going to throttle the PR flak who wrote the script. Seriously, stop with the buzzwords. Or at least make new ones.

As I watched the E3 Microsoft press conference, it occurred to me that this was filled with very little content all around. Bringing back Gears of War? Bringing Gwent -- a card game within the game of Witcher 3 -- into it's own card game?

Whose bright idea was this?

Even the brand new Xbox "slim" is basically an excuse to push Windows 10 on people. Seriously, what the heck is going on with Windows 10 that they feel the need to push this on everyone in the universe? And far, far too much time was dedicated towards this concept. We accept that they have admitted that their console sucks and they have to expand it to PC. Next?

They even brought out yet another entry in the Dead Rising franchise. If you don't know it, it's basically an excuse to slaughter zombies en mass in a variety of creative ways. But Dead Rising 4 is set at Christmas, so that's different right? It's not like Batman: Arkham Origins or The Division did the same thing.

Oh wait, they did.

Battlefield 1 looks interesting. But yet another sequel

And again, yet still, they're trying to push their "Microsoft studios" television stupidity, like with Quantum Break. If you don't know what Quantum Break is, you don't want to know. Consider yourself lucky.

Here's possibly my major problem: Recore, the most original idea they had at the press conference, wasn't even expanded on.

Looks cute, doesn't it? Looks like it should be fun, right?

Good, because that's all that they showed us at E3.

And then there's Scalebound.

I will grant that this looks amazing. But I'll admit that I've been burned before.

If you want, you can look up a game called Sea of Thieves, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

There is also Halo Wars 2.  While I'm a fan of the Halo Franchise, can we stop with the sequels now? Please? Pretty please? Or at least do something strange and EXPAND on all of these things? Maybe?

At least it may have a story.

But yes, that's it. That's most of the good stuff from the hour of the press conference. Yikes, that was a waste of time.

Yeah, they spent more time telling us about specs, and very little time showing us what the specs can do. The most we got is what I showed you above.  The graphics are nice and shiny. But aside from shiny graphics -- which should be a GIVEN by now -- very little felt like this was an improvement on Xbox 360.

Verdict: It was okay. Generally uninspiring,  The CGI trailers were awesome .... but we needed a lot more gameplay, we needed more content. And I suspect that we're going to save 90% of the actual content in the individual press conferences from individual studios.

I am not inspired, but that may require more elaboration on the games already brought up. A lot more.


  1. I've pretty much decided to stick to the Total Biscuit E3 snarkathons. Makes the hype train to Disappointment amusing for a moment or two.

    As for the gaming, Paradox and Blizzard pretty much own whatever the Evil League of Evil deigns to leave me in my wallet.

  2. After DOOM 4, shooters are going to have to try a bit harder to get me interested. It destroys modern hallway shooters.

    I wish Nintendo wasn't holding out until next year. I'd really like to see what they have up their sleeve.


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