Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Election Day: Who Would Spider Man Vote For?

In 2012, I did a post where I broke down comic book characters by  politics and concluded who they voted for.

I think 2016 needs s similar treatment.

In the spirit of going completely and utterly over the top, I figure I would take it one step further. However, I'm going to tell you right now that this is a joke from minute one to minute last.

But then, the 2016 election has been a joke since day one.

One of the differences between this and 2012 will be that this will be an all day thing. One post per character ... mostly. The shorter ones will be grouped together. After all, there's no much I can do with Deadpool.

Spider-Man / Peter Parker (Marvel Comics)

As a New Yorker, Peter Parker would vote Clinton.

No, I'm not being fancy here. There are few other details to effect Peter Parker's vote. Say whatever you like about him, but he is a New Yorker, first and foremost.

It is truth that Peter Parker might be one of those New Yorkers who have decided that 9-11 means "We're going to hunt down every last terrorist son of a bitch AND FLIPPING END THE LITTLE BASTARDS."

So, yes, this is quite possible.

However, Peter Parker is also such a whiny, self-absorbed little douchebag, he sold his marriage to a demon so he could avoid feeling guilty about his aunt being gunned down by a sniper aiming for him at the time.

No. I am not over One More Day. Screw you, Joe Quesada. Screw you.

I mean, this was his wife.

But, no, gave her up for his dying aunt. Because idiot.

Maybe he'd vote for Trump because MJ would be friends with Melina. Heh.

Though I think that, at the end of the day, like Hal Jordan, Peter Parker will vote his paycheck. Unless the lab he works in is now funded by a reclusive billionaire (and if it is, I wouldn't know, I haven't read Spider-Man since the dumpster fire that was One More Day) they get government grants. And since labs can con government out of billions of dollars, they'll need someone who will spend money like a drunken sailor.

So, Hillary.

Also, let's remember that Peter Parker has worked in the journalism business forever, and over 90% of them are publicly backing Hillary. So there's that.

Then again, Peter might vote for Trump just to see JJ Jameson's head explode.

However, let's face it everyone, it wouldn't matter who Peter Parker wants to vote for, because Peter would approach the polls, hear sirens, and webswing away to the rescue. He would then remain busy until the polls closed.  He would then walk home in a slump because he couldn't do what he wanted to.

Peter would then retire from being Spider-man for five minutes, or five issues, whichever came first.

Then he makes a deal with Mephisto so that the last few decades of voting never happened the way everyone remembers.

See the previous posts: Captain America
Green Arrow / Green Lantern.

Or, while we're all here.... Murphy's Law of Vampiressequel to the second place Sad Puppies 4 nominee for best novel, and Dragon Award nominated novel Honor at Stake came out yesterday

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