Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Apathy is a Superpower

This is how a lot of conversations go in my life. In fact, I will say that this is a conversation I've had with about 90% of the friends I've ever had
Me: "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine"
Me: "Yes, but--"
"I'm told you I'm fine, I can handle it"
Me: "Are you--"
Me: "Okay, if you say so--"
"Something's wrong."
Me: "Too late, I stopped caring."
Add variations for dating, personal issues, health issues, and criminal offenses, et al.
You can, of course, add variations for dating, personal issues, health issues, and criminal offenses, et al.

And now you know why I have a 10% friend retention rate.

I'm sure there will be some idiots out in the world who will read into this, and they're free to. Why? Because they're idiots and don't know any better.

Conversations and experiences like the one above are why I've become very stingy with my friendships. I try to filter our the crazy, the stupid, and the deranged, but it never always works.

Thankfully, I've had a great ability to not care about people I'm not close to. I believe it was Cardinal Spellman (or was it Newman?) who spoke out against reading too much, when caring for the people in books take you away from caring for real people all around you.

To which my reply is: Dude, have you met real people? Books have been better friends to me than most people in my life. In fact, I'd say that my social life expanded dramatically over the past two years, but that's not saying much considering the life that came before.

There are some people out there who are acquaintances who could probably die tomorrow, and I wouldn't feel all that much. I'm certain they feel much the same about me.

We won't even go into the ones who have so alienated me, browbeat me, and talked me out of giving a damn about their existence to the point where I could step over their lifeless corpse without caring.

And a lot of that is going on right now. And I mean a lot of it.

Can you tell that I've had a hard day today?  I mean, it's one of those days where you wonder: "Why the Hell am I doing all this? Why am I fighting so hard for so little? Why can't I use a flamethrower on everything?"

The long and the short of it is that I am just so tired. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of screaming out into the darkness of the internet and getting crap back. Because the crap of the internet is piling up. Personal crap, professional crap, unstable psychotic crap -- and that's just with people I work with. You should see what my personal life looks like.

I then spent hours playing tag with FedEx, because an employee in Iowa decided to return a package I sent from DragonCon because the package was "bent" or "dented," depending on what the handwriting experts say. What's that you ask? DragonCon was in September? Why, yes it was. And the bastards at FedEx never warned me that there was a problem until I hunted it down. And guess what -- the f**kers of FedEx DESTROYED THE PACKAGE.

So that was fun. And futile.

This was all while filling out an interview sheet with someone who wants to interview authors on Gab.

So, I've had a very long day.

Here, how about this: click on one of the books below. Either buy one and try one out, or just share it around the internet. Perhaps I can get my sales in at the start of the day, rather than the end.

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