But mostly, you're better off just running. The Relic, Shooter (the film), The Bourne Identity (the films were so two dimensional) and the list goes on.
Now what fresh hell has been unleashed on us?
I give you.... Disney.
There's Cars 3 .... because everyone loved one and two so much (hint: It's the only Pixar film I can't find anyone to say a nice word about)
Because they're bringing back the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.
Really? The abomination of the second and third films weren't enough for you? And no, you couldn't drag me to see any of the films after that. You would literally have to pay me to review that drek. I mean literally. If I can get an offer, I'll start a kickstarter. I'll do a review. And, apparently, Orlando Bloom's career sucks so badly right now, he's been dragged back into this film. Either that, or the franchise has been going downhill so badly that they had to back up the dump truck filled with money to pay his salary.
Next, they're doing a live action Mulan....
Yes. Because every review of Beauty and the Beast I've seen from people I trust has been less than positive -- or, at best, showed me that, yes, this was a totally unnecessary remake. They even made it with A LEAD ACTRESS WHO CAN'T SING. So now we're going to have yet another unnecessary remake.
And then we're going to have a sequel .... to Mary Poppins. Yes, you heard, Mary, flipping, Poppins. The genius title? Mary Poppins Returns. Really? It took fifty years to think up this title?
And who do you get to replace Julie Andrews?
The film stars Emily Blunt as Mary Poppins,
I suspect that her choice was based on the type of drugs the casting guy was on.
And the plot? Oh, you're going to love this one. Remember Mary Poppins right? A distant father hires a nanny to deal with his troublesome kids. Hilarity ensues.
Set 25 years after the original film, and taking inspiration from later books in the Mary Poppins series, the film will see Mary Poppins revisiting the Banks family after they suffer a family tragedy.
The film opens Christmas Day 2018.Family tragedy! A surefire Christmas film.
"Oh, but it's based off of later books!"
If you'll turn your attention to this corner, you will see a brief synopsis of each book in the series. You will note that there is nothing that even remotely resembles a tragedy.
So, shut up, Disney.
Finally, worst of all, they are making (read: they will screw up) A Wrinkle in Time.
A Wrinkle ... in Time.
A WRINKLE IN TIME!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
SCREW YOU DISNEY! MAY YOUR PARKS BE SWALLOWED UP AND FALL INTO THE NINTH LEVEL OF HELL.
Why do I say that? Because the author, Madeleine L'Engle basically wrote a YA novel that is essentially Christian...
Remember the last time they did one of those? Oh yeah, Narnia.
This is going to suck.
Seriously. Go to Hell, Disney. Straight to Hell.
And they're cheaper than a movie ticket.
The Love at First Bite series.