Thursday, April 20, 2017

Marvel's Nick Spencer Works for Hydra



You know, I was relatively certain that Marvel comics couldn't get any worse. When they made Captain America himself an Agent of Hydra, they first said,
This is not a clone, not an imposter, not mind control, not someone else acting through Steve. This really is Steve Rogers, Captain America himself.
It's really, truly honestly not a gimmick. Honest. 

The current author, Nick Spencer, revealed himself to be a troll, and hated conservatives -- to no one's surprise -- and is probably antisemitic, as he makes the creation of two Jews into a Nazi.

Within the month, it was spun back the other way. Nope, a sapient Cosmic Cube with a will of its own has rewritten history.  In short, Marvel and Spencer lied to our faces, and called us stupid if we said that he was full of crap.

But now, wait, IT GETS BETTER.

Because now, they've started yet another SUPER DUPER MEGA COMIC BOOK EVENT, wherein they have decided that, once more, Captain America was always a Nazi. 

Again.


In fact, not only was Steve Rogers always a Nazis, Rogers had actually FORGOTTEN he was a Hydra Agent. The Sapient Cosmic Cube? The super powered doohickey that can rewrite reality? It only reverted Steve Rogers BACK to being an Agent of Hydra...

Uh huh.

Let's get this right: Captain America was always a Nazi agent, but reality had been rewritten so that Captain America wouldn't know that he was working for Hydra. But now, reality has just been rewritten BACK so that Captain America was now, and always has been, a Hydra Agent.

Well ... that was stupid.

We are also back to insisting that this will always and forever be the Truth of Captain America.

Uh huh. 

No.

Seriously, no. Marvel Comics, as a publisher of comic books, is done. Finished. Doomed. Obviously, they think their audience is too stupid to live. But I don't even think 12 year olds are going to put up with this bull -- or believe it. Because of course Steve Rogers will become the good guy again. Why? Because he's one of their lead IPs. You don't burn that bridge.

Okay, they can burn that bridge, but only until Disney comes back, smacks them around, and explains that the comics must continue in order for Disney to keep the film rights.

But it's too late. Marvel comics is done. Burn the whole building down. They're cooked. Enough is enough. There is no coming back from this. Fire everybody, scrap their storylines, and set the building on fire with them in it, and readers aren't going to put up with this crap. There's insulting the intelligence of the readers, and then there's treating them like crap, lying to them endlessly, and then smiling in their faces and telling them to like it or else. 

Screw you, Nick Spencer. You're trying to have it both ways, and it's not working, and it will not work. We'll find out that this was all a very elaborate scheme by Hydra to trick Captain America into pickng the wrong reality. I'm sure we'll even discover that Red Skull is behind it, even though he's dead.

Oh, wait, didn't I mention? Red Skull is supposed to have been killed ... again ... by Steve Rogers. Yes, you heard it here folks, Captain America assassinated he Red Skull in order to take over Hydra. 

Yes. In case you thought it couldn't get any more stupid. The hits just keep on coming.

I guess Nick Spencer wants to just keep pushing the "America is racist" narrative. 

This major super-duper world shaking event du jour is called Secret Empire. It's supposed to be the last ditch effort of Marvel to make political comic book story lines. 

I guess no one told him that we don't care, nor do we believe him. It's comic books. There are no permanent changes. Don't believe me, just ask the Grim Reaper of comic books about his revolving door policy of dead superheroes,

And, somehow, rewriting Captain America's memories, and all of reality, is supposed to explain this.


Yes, that's right. The magical / mystical object can't see through the "false goodness" of Steve Rogers, and the Cosmic Cube made him capable of wielding it on the field of battle.


[head desk] [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]  [head desk]   

.... I feel better down. I think I just rid myself of the dead and dying brain cells that Nick Spencer BROKE with this endless stupidity. 

To Nick Spencer, you fatuous, fascist f**ktard: just out yourself as an Antifa a-hole, grab your ISIS costume with the rest of your Antifa mates, and then go ahead and attack some defenders of the first amendment. I'm sick of your crap, and so is everyone else. Sam Wilson had become a racist, dickless wonder, and Steve Rogers has become a Nazi?

Screw you, and the house of mouse. Marvel is dead to me. And my friends. And my family. Captain America stopped during Ed Brubaker's run, he came back from the dead, retired, and lived happily ever after with Sharon Carter. Or perhaps found a time machine, went back in time, and went into hiding with Peggy Carter after they got married. Or a hundred different, better scenarios that I can come up with in my sleep that are better than this bullcrap. 

Guess what, Spencer, if you don't like heroes to be, you know, heroic, how about you get into a different line of work, like writing screenplays for Zach Snyder, or write for Top Cow's Millarworld, with all the other amoral, immoral, vile douche bags. The only reason you're currently employed is that Marvel doesn't care about sales anymore. 

Marvel will lie, BS, bluster and bloviate about why their sales suck, but they would rather cut their own throats with political message screeds and bleed out all over the fan base than believe in truth, justice, the American way, values, morals, ethics, or anything that is commonly acknowledged as an objective good

Right now, as far as I'm concerned, Marvel has been living in an elseworld's nightmare created by Mephisto, and until the last ten years of writing, and writers, have been stricken from the history of the company, I can't even imagine looking at a Marvel comic, unless I need something to burn in the fireplace to keep me warm at nice. And I'm afraid that the toxic fumes from all the stupid in the pages might not even make that worth it.

Dear Marvel and Disney, if you ever want to write good stories again, give me a call. I have a list of authors who would happily rip out all garbage clogging the pipeline, and get your comic books back into the top twenty list of comic sales. 


And Marvel, you sacks of crap very careful where you tread. You wouldn't want to step on James Gunn's toes while he's doing the Guardians of the Galaxy films, or the Russo brothers when they next bring Captain America to the screen. They may just have to step on you.


A whole bunch of books better than marvel comics right now.

The Love at First Bite series. 

    

4 comments:

  1. Declan

    Wow just wow. Do the Marvel emoyees hate comics and characters that much? I personally think that the characters are too important to be left in Marvel's hands and the fans should just take over. I bet the the fanfi will be far superior and a blast to read.

    I don't read the comics in English the European ones are much better in all characteristics.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They love their political positions more than they love stories.

      What we need are more webcomic creators interested in making superhero comics in a more classical bent.

      Delete
    2. There two dozen writers I know who could do a better job.

      They would probably all prefer to write the Punisher.

      Delete
  2. Last I heard, Disney was taking a totally hands-off approach to "creative choices" for the Marvel comics-- why not, they have the IP rights for the rest of it.

    I rather suspect that whoever is on the level above this stuff is waiting for the comics side to destroy itself so they can shut it down and start from the bottom up, so they can actually make money.

    ReplyDelete

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