Tuesday, May 29, 2018

The attack of Fall TV, 2018

Dear world...


Magnum P.I. 2018 REBOOT

20 seconds into this "Magnum" reboot trailer, I want to commit arson.

37 seconds, my eardrums are bleeding.

38 seconds, I'm ready to throw rocks at the screen


.... So they got the Ferrari, Hawaii, and the dogs right.

Best part of this is the music.

Originally, this was going to be a sequel series, where the lead would be Magnum's daughter. She was the product of a Catholic marriage to the woman he married in Vietnam. The situation was very Casablanca, right down to a Major Strasser. It was an interesting premise that I looked forward to.

Then they apparently decided to scrap it in lieu of a reboot.

This? This is BS. This looks like they're going to take everything from the original, pour in every modern cliche, and hit frappe. The caretaker being a stuffy British gentleman? No, we need Strong Female Cliche #4 variant. Magnum's buddy the helicopter Pilot TC as a small business owner who gets annoyed at Magnum constantly burning fuel, goodwill, and getting his company chopper shot full of holes? Nah, he's just going to be oh so happy to leap in whenever Magnum says jump.

Magnum concerned about the Ferrari? They burn through two in the course of one trailer.

Ugh. I give this show five minutes, if I'm bored enough to try it. I won't be.

Funny thing is that they could have had a "Strong Female Character" / Eurasian minority and check off all of the check boxes, and probably made a more interesting series if they just kept the premise as "daughter of Magnum," but no, they have to rewrite and destroy something perfectly reasonable in the first place.

I'm going to go play the REAL series now. Thank you


Because the world needs Dick Wolf to have another TV show.

This lacks all charisma and energy.... like every other Dick Wolfe show.

And oh, look, more left-wing propaganda, because what the world needs is another f**king white supremacist as a bad guy on television.

Wouldn't it be strange if someone had a communist as a bomber? Or a Black Lives Matter psychopath planning another riot as the bad guy every once in a while?

Goodbye, Dick. You're appropriately named.

The Rookie (ABC)

Oh, look, ABC has decided to once again invest money into Nathan Fillion's plus-10 charisma in order to bring in tons of cash.

This ... may not suck.

Manifest (NBC)

Sigh. This feels like every other stupid gimmick show since Lost aired. Like Fast Forward or something equally moronic.

Not interested. Bye.

New Amsterdamn (NBC)

On the one hand, I really like Ryan Eggold. He stole part parts of The Blacklist, he is a great actor, highly versatile. And Freema from Doctor Who. I would really like them to have employment.

On the other hand, this feels like The Resident. "Let's save the medical system!!!!"

Um, how about we start by REMOVING ALL THE GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS ON HEALTHCARE AND LET HOSPITALS RUN HEALTHCARE LIKE HEALTHCARE??? Another show that blames "Big Hospital as soulless corporation" over government interference is not going to figure it out, and if they pull that crap, I hope it gets cancelled.

I'd rather it not.

Murphy Brown (CBS Reboot)

Apparently, Roseanne is back, and is pro-Trump.

So someone decided that they needed to bring back Roseanne and make it the Anti-Trump. Yes, because that's going to work.

Guys, this show wasn't that funny the first time around. It's going to be less funny this time around.

The commercial isn't even entertaining enough for me to post on my blog. If you want to find it, you can find it on YouTube yourself. Sorry. It's 4 minutes long. I stopped at 81 seconds in. I couldn't tolerate it anymore.

Reverie (NBC)

I like Sarah Shahi from Person of Interest.

I've enjoyed Dennis Haysbert's acting ever since Now and Again.

And that guy from Heroes who was never allowed to be half as interesting as I thought he could be.

This is a summer replacement program, out on May 30th. It may work.

God Friended Me (CBS)

I want to like this premise. I really do. It reminds me of several TV shows I enjoyed, like Joan of Arcadia, and they want to mix it with Bones or Castle.

And it has Joe Morton. I've wanted him to have a real career since Speed in the early 90s.

Ugh. There are so many ways for this to get screwed up. But I'd like it not to suck.

Whiskey Cavalier (ABC)

Oh look, it's that guy from The Unit, and his boss is that other guy who always plays cops. And they're in a spy comedy.

This looks almost charming. Very Mr. and Mrs Smith.

I think this is ABC's to screw up.

The Fix (ABC)

Sigh. This is brought to you by Marcia Clark, the DA who let OJ Simpson get away with murder as she rewrites her own biography.

.... But it's got Robin Tunney from The Mentalist. She was enjoyable on that one. And she doesn't look like she's aged at all.

And it has ... that black guy from Lost and The Mummy Returns. And Scott Wolfe, who was never allowed to have an interesting career.

I never bothered with the OJ trial the first time around. I don't want to have an entire TV show around it.

I like the actors, but I'm tapping out of this one.

The Passage

Well, this is going to end well.

Mad science and what looks like vampires.

And ... I don't think so. I know how The Last of Us ends.

Shows I Don't Care About

These shows lack all charm and interest for me. The Actors are uninteresting, or the premise is uninteresting. And I won't even bother with a ten foot pole. Nor will I inflict them on you.

I don't even care enough about these to hate them, nevermind post the trailers. But if you're interested, you can look up.

Grand Hotel (ABC)
Charmed (2018 reboot, CW)
Proven Innocent (FOX)
All American (CW)
Happy Together (CBS)
Burden of Truth (CBC -- PBS Canada)

The Dragons are coming.
If you don't have your ballot filled out already (either IRL or in your head,) here's my list. It includes the lists of other people, so there are options.
Just remember to vote.


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