Tuesday, June 12, 2018

#E32018: #UbiE3, #PlaystationE3

I continue to look at this week's E3. First, I want to finish looking at UbiSoft's presentation....

I didn't get through all of For Honor .... they still seem to lack a story, in favor of gameplay.... and they want to convince us that people wearing Crusader-level armor includes ... women.

Sigh. You know what people? I play Tomb Raider and don't have a problem with certain level's of "kick-ass kick" (99% of that gameplay is shooting, anyway), but do you people even understand how heavy medieval armor is? And they're not even using chainmail. They're using plate mail. Do you know how heavy that is? Are you kidding?

I'm not even going to be bothered with putting up that trailer.

Next is...Well, this looks very much like we're doing Greek mythology ...

Oh, wait, it's another flipping Assassin's Creed game.  Screw this. I'm out.

And yes, it looks beautiful. but I gave up on this POS series after a fistfight with a Pope in Saint Peter's for a plot point that wasn't about the main plot of the game, but the "overarching" subplot that's the weakest point in the whole series. We won't even go into history so terrible that Dan Brown is going "WTF?"

Okay, to heck with this. Ubisoft just fed a lot of time to Assassin's Creed. That was a waste of time.

On to Playstation. Let's see what they're doing.

They're going to open with The Last of Us 2.

They made the entire opening trailer that added nothing to our knowledge of the game except for "Ellie's gay now"?  Really? While I don't object, given what we know of her history from the DLC ... they dedicated an entire trailer to that? Really?

The really worrisome part of this is that I'm getting a distinctively Walking Dead vibe from the setting ... what very little I'm getting of the setting, because a quarter of this trailer is dedicated to setting up the "Ellie's gay now" stuff.

... And then she's stabbing someone in the neck. Well, that was a tonal shift designed to give me whiplash.

Why does this feel like they've decided to make Ellie even more vicious than Lara Croft? Do they really have Tomb Raider envy that bad? I'll grant that she spends most of her time dodging and running, but as far as continuing the story -- which was the most important part of The Last of Us part 1 -- this is fairly disappointing.

Next up a few teasers that barely even tell me what the games are. Something that is obviously Destiny 2 oriented.... I guess they couldn't afford Nathan Fillion to come back.

Then there's Ghost of Tsushima

What is this? Kurasawa directing a Batman Arkham game? Not that I'm objecting to that or anything...

A teaser for something called Control. Coming out in 2019. You'd think they'd have more content for it if it were coming that soon.

.... What is this? Mouse simulator 200?

No. It's apparently another Resident Evil game. A Resident Evil 2 remake. In January of 2019?

And, finally, Kingdom Hearts 3 ...

And we're going back to the Pirates universe, acknowledging the next chapters of that terrible franchise (seriously, how did it get past movie #3?). They, too, have gone the Black Flag pirate simulator route.

The graphics have become borderline photo-realistic with the live action actors.

The other day, I thought they were cutting back on the Disney worlds in their game. Apparently, I was mistaken, with Pirates, and Toy Story, and Wreck-it-Ralph, and Frozen, and Tangled, Monster's Inc., etc.  Oh well. At least they look like they're going to wrap-p some of their own mythology.

January, 2019.

And then, from Hideo Kojima ... a really beautiful game that seems to make no sense at all.

I think this is some sort of survival stealth horror?

Anyway, there is also Nioh 2, which looks like Samurai Dark Souls.

And then, there's ... Spider Man.

The game play looks very much like Spider Man Arkham Asylum with some DMC beat 'em up. And I'm good with that. Heck, they even start with a prison break at the Raft, using a plot point in New Avengers #1.

Cinematics look good, gameplay looks good. Costume .... looks stupid, but I'm sure there's a skin for that.

And that's the end of the Playstation conference.

The Dragons are coming.
If you don't have your ballot filled out already (either IRL or in your head,) here's my list. It includes the lists of other people, so there are options.
Just remember to vote.


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